A Lifetime of Love
by averygirl
Summary: The true love story of Donna Logan and Eric Forrester.
1. Immortal

**1 - Immortal**

She had truly believed that he was going to live forever. He was Eric Forrester. He was _supposed_ to live forever. Never mind that he was nearly thirty years her senior; it didn't matter because he was Eric and he was a Forresterand that was a legacy that simply didn't die.

_Ever._

She couldn't begin to figure out how she would survive once he was gone; how she would go on without him. She didn't think any of them would ever figure that out. He had meant so much to so many people. He was Stephanie's sometimes husband but always constant friend; he was Brooke's calm in the storm; the one man she could always depend on to never hurt her. He was Taylor's father figure who supported her in every way. He was his children's rock; their mentor. He was his grandchildren's light. And to her, he was her _... everything..._

She had to lock herself into a state of denial long after the diagnosis came back to endure it all. They had only just found each other again; they couldn't lose each other. Not again; not forever. She didn't want to believe he was going to leave her. She didn't want to let him go even as the clock kept ticking on and as the end seemed more inevitable. However, the closer he came to the end - the closer they _both_ did - she denied everything more and buried deeper into her self-constructed cocoon.

There would be an eleventh hour reprieve; _there had to be..._


	2. Speak, Home Alone, Paint

_Starting with this drabble, we go back in time a bit to show how "Deric" came back together! Thanks to all who are reading this._

**2 - Speak**

He noticed her holed up in a corner of Daisy's staring miserably into a coffee cup and something tugged at him. He and Stephanie were giving it "the old college try" again but something about Donna still drew him like a moth to a flame. He couldn't stay away. Especially when she looked so miserable. He reasoned they could talk as friends; it had been a longtime since they had done that.

"Donna," he said, moving over to her table.

She jumped, having apparently been so lost in her sad thoughts that she hadn't noticed him approaching. She looked up and offered him a weak, watery smile. "Eric."

"May I?" He said, gesturing to the empty chair across from her.

"Of course," she answered, watching as he pulled back the chair and slipped into it. "What are you doing here? Never mind, everyone needs coffee ..."

Eric nodded. Was there some part of her that wished he had come specifically looking for her? There was definitely some part of him that wished he had been there for her a lot sooner. Stubborn pride had kept him away this long...

He had heard about her impending divorce; of course he had and he felt truly sorry for her. He had been divorced so many times and it never, ever got easier. His last divorce ... well, it had been the hardest one ever and he hoped to never repeat that experience again which is why every time Stephanie openly "hinted" at wanting a ring, he had to come up with some excuse to prolong that event. Divorcing Donna - though he had thought it was the right thing to do at the time - had been crippling.

Donna looked up at him then, her expression full of sad realization. "You know," she said simply. So many emotions in that statement, so few words.

"I know," he admitted. And that's all he had to say too for her to know he still cared.

* * *

><p><span><strong>3 - Home Alone<strong>

The following night found Donna alone at the beach house, slowly packing up the things Justin was taking with him back to Chicago. She wanted to do this little thing for him even if he hadn't asked; somehow she wanted to make him see she still cared even if things hadn't worked out in the end. God knows they had tried so damn hard to recreate the magic they once shared in high school but it had been too much work; too much effort to keep a marriage together with a person you didn't even know anymore and didn't have anything in common with.

They tried to be what they had loved about each when they were seventeen years old but those feelings simply could not be recreated and the marriage collapsed within a year. It was tragic and Donna felt so badly for letting Justin believe she could be what he had needed and wanted. Worse, their son, the best thing to ever come out of their union, was devastated that his father was leaving town when they were just getting so close. Donna tried to assure Marcus things would work out for the best but she didn't even believe that herself.

She wished someone was here to talk with as she did this (one of her sisters, preferably), as she sorted through Justin's high school belongings and found an old yearbook that was chockfull of pictures of them together. Theirs had been an unconventional relationship even back then but other students had liked them enough to vote them "Cutest Couple" two years in a row. Donna sat down with the book in her hands and soon her tears were wetting the pages. She finally shoved it aside in frustration and heartbreak.

The phone suddenly rang, jarring her back to her senses. She slowly moved over to it, feeling like she was eighty years old due to her emotional exhaustion, and picked it up. "Hello," she said quietly. She was immediately surprised at hearing the familiar voice on the other end.

"Donna, its Eric," her ex-husband greeted her.

"Eric, hi ... What's up?"

"I just wanted to make sure that you are doing alright. After seeing you yesterday at the coffeehouse... You seemed so upset ..." Eric sounded fairly unsure of himself which he never was. She wondered if he felt it wasn't his place to be making this phone call. But she didn't care if it was the proper thing or not right now. She was just glad to hear from him again. He always made her feel so much better just by being the gentle soul he was.

"Thanks for calling," Donna said. "It's hard. I'm actually just packing up Justin's things now ..."

"I'm sorry."

"Me, too," Donna said. "But I appreciate you showing you care after everything that happened between us."

"I'll always care about you, Donna, always," Eric said and she smiled her first true smile in months.

* * *

><p><span><strong>4 - Paint<strong>

Donna had heard that women always changed their looks after a particularly hard breakup. That had been true with Eric. She had gotten really, really fat after they ended things. It took months to take off all the weight in time for her eventual nuptials to Justin. And now Justin was gone too. He had left for Chicago months ago and the official divorce decree would be delivered any day. It was depressing as hell and Donna was immediately tempted to drown herself in a vat of Ben and Jerry's like she had before. But this time she decided to be more proactive about changing things. She had never really liked the beige paint Justin had selected for all the rooms in the house when they bought the place though of course she had said she did just to keep the peace. She had quietly anticipated even then that they were on shaky ground and that the only way she and Justin could make it together, was if she didn't upset the status quo. And she had been right because once things started to change between them; they were never able to communicate again.

Sitting in the beach house night after night, pathetically staring at the walls, she hated the beige color more and more. One night that hatred got so potent, burning like venom in her veins, that she grabbed her keys off the table and rushed out the door to the local hardware store. She thought about buying a light baby blue color but as she was heading to pay, she spotted another can full of brilliant crayon-red paint. She knew she had to have that. Some women changed their hairstyle after a difficult breakup but Donna; she would instead change the scenery in her lonely place.

She went home with that can of red paint plus five more cans and began smearing the walls with the brilliant clownish color the second she dug out some old paintbrushes from the garage. She realized they were small artist's brushes that were more ideal for painting a canvas but she didn't care.

As she smeared paint everywhere, she smiled a little. These brushes were, come to think of it, Eric's old ones. She must have packed them accidentally when she moved out of the Forrester mansion for the last time. Somehow it always came back to Eric. That man was in her blood and she knew somehow he always would be.

She slathered on the paint and then opened all the doors to let it air dry. She had painted into the wee hours of the morning and had not even finished the living room though, let alone the rest of the house. She realized she needed help with this big of a chore. She thought of calling Marcus but knew he was really busy planning his engagement to Steffy. Yes those crazy kids had seemed to resolve their old issues and were altar-bound. It was total insanity but Donna would support her son in whatever he wanted and he apparently wanted Steffy Forrester.

Her next thought was to call Katie but Katie had her hands full with Bill always plotting ways to get rid of Amber and Amber's little "spawn" as he coldly called his grandchild. Donna could phone Brooke but she didn't want to. She realized she wanted to call Eric and ask him to come over. It may have been pathetic of her to want that as much as she did but she reasoned, it was just painting. It wasn't a crime. Not even Stephanie could throw a fit about something so innocent. Well Stephanie actually could and would but Donna still wanted to call Eric.

And so she did.


	3. Under pressure, Kiss

**5 - Under pressure**

The call from Donna came in at exactly six a.m. and Eric had arrived at the beach house by six-thirty. "Hey," she greeted him self-consciously as she opened the door. She wasn't sure why she had called him and now all the doubts and frustrations were coming back. "I can't believe you came."

Eric offered her a smile. "I said I'd be here, didn't I?" he asked.

Donna nodded. "Yeah you did... You're always there for me but Stephanie ..."

"Never mind Stephanie. Don't worry about her today."

Donna sighed as she let Eric into the beach house. He let out a low whistle as his eyes fell on the walls. "Cherry red," he said. "I can't remember the last time I saw a house painted this color. In fact, I don't think I ever have."

She brushed her wild, unkempt hair out of her face. "Yeah it was impulsive of me. I just wanted something different than the same old, same old so I went kind of crazy and -"

Eric's hands were suddenly on either of her forearms, giving each of them light squeezes. "Donna, relax, okay? If you wanted red -"

"That's the problem. I don't know what I want anymore," Donna said as tears trickled down her face. "I just know I am going insane."

Eric shook his head. "You're not, alright? You're not going insane. But you are under a ton of pressure. That much is obvious. Why don't you take a few days off from work and just go on a vacation or something? You would feel so much better. And by the time you got home, I could have this whole place painted and looking in perfect shape."

"Why are you so sweet to me?" Donna asked. "After everything I did to destroy our marriage?"

"You're a hard woman to stay mad at," Eric said simply and squeezed her arms lightly again before letting go of his hold on her. She missed his touch already. It was pathetic but there it was.

She watched him go over and pick up the paintbrushes. "These are not going to cut it."

"I know," Donna said. "But they're your old ones ..."

"I see that," Eric said with a smile. "But we need better brushes to work with so I'll run down to the local hardware store and -"

"Eric, it wouldn't even been open yet. Besides, I just remembered. It's Wednesday. It's board meeting day. You'll need your rest..."

"You remember my schedule," he said in surprise.

"Yes," she admitted. Donna used to help get him ready every Wednesday for the long board meeting ahead by ironing his suits and once he was dressed, working his tie for him, her hand lingering on his chest for a moment. She would cook him a hearty breakfast and then promise she would be around when he got back. She had always kept that promise until he wouldn't let her anymore.

She shook her head. "Forget about all of this. I shouldn't have called and I shouldn't have bothered you. I am sure Stephanie is sticking pins in my voodoo doll right now anyway."

Eric laughed at that and Donna felt her own lips twitching in a smile. How was it that he could always make her feel so much better?

* * *

><p><span><strong>6 - Kiss<strong>

Eric insisted on calling into the office and cancelling the board meeting. That was the first one he had failed to show up for in the last fifteen years. Donna felt badly for letting him do that for her but she knew that she couldn't have changed his mind then.

He predictably took a very loud verbal beating from Stephanie over the phone. Donna could hear the older woman using words like "tramp", "slut" and "home wrecker" very liberally. It was not hard to guess that Stephanie believed Donna was seducing Eric into bed right now or already had which was not the case. Donna would be lying if she told herself she didn't still have deep feelings for Eric but she couldn't possibly act on them, could she? It hurt too much when things went south for them and they certainly would again. She knew she had bad luck with every man but losing Eric had nearly destroyed her. She couldn't go through that again. Not even if it meant she spent the whole rest of her life being celibate.

She fixed Eric a bagel and cup of coffee (that was all she had lying around the beach house) and then he went off to buy new paintbrushes. He didn't attempt to change her mind on the blood-red color of the paint. That wasn't his way and she appreciated that he let her make her own decisions, even if they were screwed up.

When he returned from the local hardware store, he put a thicker, more sizable brush into her hand and dipped one of his own into a can and they started painting. They didn't speak to each other but the silence was charged with a million different emotions. Donna and Eric looked at each other occasionally and she could tell he was trying as hard as she was to pay attention to the task. However things got dicey when he dripped paint on his shirt and her hand immediately shot out in a vain attempt to wipe it away, as if she even could.

"Donna, it's just paint," he said.

"But it's such a nice shirt ..."

"Donna, it's still just a shirt. Relax, okay?"

She started to protest but she felt her hand swell on his rising chest and then he was leaning over and kissing her. The kiss was like sex, heat, comfort and coming home all at once. She gave into the kiss as it became deeper but then common sense finally fought its way to the surface and she pulled away.

"Eric, we can't."

"Donna, we're both consenting adults here."

"You and Stephanie ..."

"We're not getting married again if that's what you mean."

"No, but she thinks you're coming home to her and as for me, I can't - I can't go there again. I want to - God knows I do - but I can't. I love you, Eric, and I won't be able to stand it if you kick me out of your life again. So I guess all I can say is, you'd better leave now before this goes any further. I knew I wanted this when I called you but I didn't believe it could happen. It can't go any further because I can't be hurt again, Eric. I won't be. Because it will shatter me for sure next time."

THANKS FOR READING.


	4. Over

**7 – Over**

"It's over, Eric; I've known that for a long time. I didn't want it to be over but –" Donna was silenced by Eric grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling her to him. He kissed her passionately and thoroughly. She felt weak in the knees as they devoured each other's hungry lips.

Finally, they pulled back and Donna touched her now impossibly puffy lips. "Wow… I… don't know what to say."

"Say that you liked it," Eric urged, "or I'll feel very inept."

"No, Eric, don't feel that way. It was amazing, lovely... One of the best kisses you ever gave me and there were many that made my legs turn to Jell-O… But we're done. We've been done for awhile now. You're with Stephanie and I'm –"

"You're not with anyone, Donna."

"I know. I'm alone."

"You don't have to be."

"Eric-"

"I was stubborn, Donna. You hurt me so I pushed for a divorce because I wanted to hurt you back. Hearing that you married Justin … Well, is it any wonder why I rushed to be with Stephanie again? I didn't want to be alone and I love her but if I'm honest with myself, it's been a long time since I desired her the way I do you; a long time since I was in love with her and even when I was it was a different level of love. I love her as the mother of my children, as my confidant, my friend, my equal, but it's still you, Donna. You're still in my blood."

Donna's eyes misted with tears. "If that's true, why did it take you so long – until this very moment – to say something?"

"Stubbornness, as I said. Plus a hell of a lot of pride. We Forrester men have that in spades."

Donna nodded. "I've noticed."

"The question is, Donna, do you still love me the way I love you? Do you even believe that I never stopped loving you?"

"Well… I know I never stopped loving you. You were the most wonderful surprise of my life. I think one reason it didn't work with Justin was that amazing as he is, he's not you. No one is. And I wanted you. I still do. I always will. But I can't and won't compete with Stephanie."

"You don't have to. Being here with you … This is where I truly want to be."

"What are you saying?"

"I am admitting that I can't deny my own happiness anymore; I won't… Donna, I want you back. I want us to be together and I want us to last."

"Stephanie will never understand. Likely, she'll sic Pam on me again."

"Then we'll handle everyone together."

"You really mean that?"

Eric reached for her left hand, placing it over his chest. "With all of my still beating heart."

"Oh, Eric," Donna whispered and then pulled him into another kiss – this one even more passionate and full of heart and love than the one that proceeded it. Donna shivered as she felt Eric going for the buttons on her blouse. She wanted this, she wanted to be loved on and held by him; more than anything actually, but if they were going to be together and make it last, this time they had to do everything the right way.

Donna lightly disentangled from his embrace. "Go back to Stephanie."

"Donna, no."

"Yes. I don't mean you should be with her but you do need to tell her the truth. If we want to be together we have to tell everyone first, like it or not. It's the only way to avoid the mistakes of the past repeating themselves."

Eric nodded. "You're right. You're a lot wiser than I think people ever give you credit for."

Donna smiled. "Everyone sees me as this dumb, blonde, blowup doll or something but you never did."

"No. I see you as the lovely, beautiful, passionate and amazing woman that you are." He leaned over and kissed her again. Her hands cupped his cheeks and then they mutually stepped away from each other.

"It's getting heated; you'd better go," Donna said with a smile.

"Very heated," Eric agreed. He squeezed her hand and kissed the back of her wrist. He then moved for the door. "I'll be back, Donna Logan. I promise you that."

Donna nodded. "I can't wait, Eric Forrester."


End file.
